5 Reasons Why Marriage is a Death Trap

Marriage is a Death Trap

When people ask me if I’m married, I answer: “Marriage is a death trap”


Why? Here are 5 reasons why marriage is a death trap for men.

1)      Half (sometimes more) of your property is no longer yours.

Upon the likely event of a divorce, the woman gets most of your stuff (which often you either owned beforehand or earned through your hard work while she mooched off your labor). As for pre-nups, they expire and can be overturned by often biased divorce court judges.

2)      50% of marriages end up in a divorce, and 70% of divorces are initiated by women.

If she gets bored, or meets someone better, you’re it. It’s pretty much a coin toss. You think you only need to find the right girl? Well, do you think all those other guys didn’t think they found the right one? Women are good at fooling men in love, as far as you’re concerned, it’s literally a coin toss.

3)      You live under constant threat.

The woman can, at her whim, get you kicked out of your house, keep you from seeing your own kids, separate you from your income, and have you incarcerated. The legal environment is such that you are not an equal, you pretty much have a loaded gun aimed at you at all times, and she has her finger on the trigger.

4)      Your life is consumed by your marriage.

Unless you are EXTREMELY lucky (like 1 in a million, literally), you will be the main breadwinner in your family, while your wife will either stay home or take a part-time, less demanding, lower-paying job. You will slave away all your life while not enjoying its fruits. And if you for some reason become unable to earn less, do you think she’ll still think of you as a man? Nope, that’s right, it’s out the door for you.

5)      Most women bring nothing to a relationship.

That’s right, I said it. Most women only have their looks and their vagina to coast through life. Even though their looks fade around age 30, they don’t care, they lived 30 years getting their way thanks to their pussy-pass, and that ain’t about to change in their mind.

They have no hobby, no interesting personality (and being an adult spoilt brat is not endearing), nothing really to bring to a relationship, except sex, which guess what, you’ll be getting less or none of once married. (and toeing the line will make you seem like a wuss, so less attractive to her, and defying her is also a no-sex scenario, so you’re screwed either way, just not in the good sense)

Conclusion: All in all, it’s a matter of economics, cost vs. benefit, risk vs. potential and uncertain reward.

So there you have it folks, happy new year, all the best, and stay away from marriage.


36 thoughts on “5 Reasons Why Marriage is a Death Trap

  1. Bryan

    I’m not sure of your background so hopefully what I write below does not come across argumentative:

    5 Reasons Why Marriage is Not a Death Trap

    1. An intimate partner to share your hopes, dreams, fears, concerns, and life with.
    2. Someone to help you grow and learn about yourself.
    3. A partner who helps you achieve your life goals
    4. Someone to start a family with.
    5. Someone to grow old with.

    1. dattehakamura Post author

      Thanks for commenting Bryan. However, here are a few problems with your points:

      1) An intimate partner doesn’t have to marry you to do those things, in fact, once married, you’re “locked in”, and you are less likely to be as intimate with your spouse. Also, marrying and writing a contract smells of distrust, why do you need to marry if you’re both so close and intimate?

      2) Again, not needing marriage, and as pointed out in my post, you’re very unlikely to find a woman who is like this. Most women only leech off you and society and are in fact overgrown spoiled children.

      3) How does your wife help you achieve your life goals? Seriously, how? Most women (by far) will want you to focus your attention on her, and her immediate needs and wants, not on your own goals.

      4) Again, it’s not your family, it’s hers. She’ll take your kids away as soon as she wants to, and as easily as dropping a false accusation. See the link for that point.

      5) You’re quite unlikely to grow old with your wife. Marriages end in divorce, and your chance of committing suicide whilst going through a divorce goes up 10 fold. Even if you don’t get divorced, you end up at her mercy, you are alienated from your friends and family (because she insists you spend your attention on her and her alone), prey to her nagging and mood swings, and you die from the stress. Men do die 10 years earlier than women for a reason you know?

      So there you have it. You can always take your chances, toss a coin and bet everything you have and are on it, or take the sensible approach and don’t get married (and beware of common-law marriages too, it’s a form of forced marriage, as seen here: https://menmattertoo.wordpress.com/2013/10/20/forced-marriages/ )

      1. Bryan

        I am aware of the divorce rates, but with my wife and I divorce is not an option. We are open to counseling or whatever is necessary to have a healthy relationship because we believe we can always improve in our communication and our relationship.

        I’m working on writing a book and my wife is a constant cheerleader and encourages me when I doubt myself. There’s no one who believes in me like she does.

        In regards to why marriage because it shows commitment, loyalty, and a blending of two lives.

        Anyways those are just some thoughts off the top of my head. You are welcome to stop by my blog. I’m sure we will differ on a lot of ideas, but I welcome your input.

        I wish you all the best!

      2. Henry Crum

        Great poetry. But it ain’t reality. If it was true, 50% of marriages wouldn’t end in divorce. Most marriages are failures. A women thinks her husband exist solely to make her happy. And other than that doesn’t give a ——- about him.

    2. johny

      obviously all hope is lost for you, guess you fell into the trap so deep you can’t get out, i make good money and like it that way, if i was with a girl, there goes most of my hard earned money on hair, nails and fucking stupid shit that has no logic or relivence. as for growing old, im doing mighty fine doing it by myself stress free.

      1. Ginger

        I am a woman. I feel absolutely the same. I think marriage is a big financial trap. I heard a lit of horrible stories about men. But i myself saw my mother marry 3 times and paying thousands and tens of thousands of dollars for all her ex-husbands’ loans, debts, and credit cards, etc
        She literally spent her entire life, payng off someone else’s debt…All thanjs to marriage. And she was the one never going into debt, carefully budheting her money and saving…all for nothing…..So, it is a trap both ways. Better to stay together for pure love – not out if marriage obligation. True love comes from the heart – not from a signed legal obligation.

    3. Tyrel Adams

      All of those things can be had outside of marriage. Cohabitation is the path…that is once we abolish common law marriage.

      1. Mr. Baxter

        I agree. Either abolish marriage or pass legislation to severely restrict the legal requirements of marriage. I’m thinking something like “term limits.”.

  2. angelwanderer

    Gold stuff. Once woman marry their prince they let go and don’t try so hard, take advantage of the lock-in clause. Better to stay unmarried and let them work for it. -A

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  4. Poop

    What is this mysoginistic bullshit? It’s like you’re blaming all the ills of marriage on women. What a load of crap. There are women who feel like marriage is a trap too. You’re not exclusive to this feeling. Perhaps it has nothing to do with money either. No wonder you’d think it’s a trap if one of your main points is divorce and money. Marriage should be about other things, and reasons for it feeling like a trap should be because you feel stuck with a person. I don’t get how divorce is an indicator of marriage being a ‘trap’ when it is an escape. Also, fuck off you sexist douche.

    1. dattehakamura Post author

      Oh so it’s misogynistic to not want to be hurt or enslaved or dead? lol ok. (then again to you people any criticism of women is misogyny)

      But here you go again making men’s issues about women. You just can’t help yourself, can’t bother to think about someone else’s pain for once.

      And sure marriage/relationships SHOULD be about things other than money, but nearly every woman feels otherwise, so it isn’t. You are the problem here, and no amount of deflection or shaming will change that.

      ROFL! Divorce is a free meal ticket/escape for WOMEN, it’s slavery for men. But yeah, I’m the sexist one.

  5. nickels

    Prior to marriage you might dream of scaling Everest, going on Safari in Africa, going on vacation in New Zealand.
    After marriage your life will be consumed with the dish towel. “Why don’t you ever put it back in the right place”. Utterly consumed with the most utterly boring minutiae. Couch shopping.
    Get ready to nest, and pick out a great dish towel, because it will be your new reality.

  6. Jim

    I used to read posts like these and think that they were true in the minority of cases. That marriage was good for most people, and that it would be good for me, because my wife (then fiance) and I were “in love”.

    What a blind fool I was. Marriage is grief and pain. I am constantly criticized, nagged, Insulted, and rejected. I am looked on with disgust by a person whom I look on with admiration. My dreams are torn apart and reordered around the interests of a woman to whom I have been nothing if not supportive. I have been belittled by a woman whom i still try to uplift. I am sexually spurned and neglected by a woman I was very caring and generous towards in bed.

    I used to think the misery portrayed by married men in sitcoms like married with children was pure comic exaggeration. But its not. People joke that to be happy in marriage you have to pretend your wife is right about everything… I am not the kind of man who can do that, so I suffer the consequences of having a back bone.

    Men before marriage are strong, impactful, hopeful. But after marriage they are like beaten and abused dogs. Shy, timid, weary.

    To Bryan: you sound as hopeful as I myself used to. Your reasons why marriage isn’t a death trap? I had all the same ones. But I was wrong in my case…

    I hope you are right in yours, because I still believe that some marriages might be good, and hope for people to achieve them if indeed they exist. But I was foolish and hasty, and entirely smitten by the idea of a good marriage and I ended up marrying a woman who really wasn’t fit for romantic partnership.

    Now that I made a vow I will try my hardest to stick by it. At least until the kids are adults. My son is so amazing to me, that i’d consign myself asto live a hundred lifetimes with my horrible wife just to know him for one.

    But if things dont improve, I will be forced to leave for my own sanity.

    The stupid, silly romantic part of me still dreams of a future where she and I are old togehter, where we are peaceful, kind, and loving to each other. And I am going to try for it because I guess I have nothing to lose but I’m not really too confident on our chances.

  7. anon

    female perspective here: marriage IS indeed a death trap. once the kids come along your husband will quit working and run up debt to trap the wife into slaving away to support the family while the man has a ‘hobby’ job and refuses to lift a finger around the house. he will also refuse to provide basic emotional or physical intimacy. the wife has two choices; suffer and continue to run on the earning/supporting treadmill (sacrificing her retirement and the child’s financial stability in the future), or divorce and lower her standard of living for herself and her child in the short term because she has to pay alimony on the deadbeat dad who would rather hang at his bar then work a real job. true story.

    1. Mandar

      You mean what men have dealt with for a century?

      Equality’s a bitch, lady.

      Men are screwed way more often than women are.

      Keep calm, and support men’s rights.


      I don’t need emotional intimacy. Only insecure weak minded women do. I can blow my load and just go to sleep.

  8. Anonymous Jacknife

    Marriage contradicts everything there is to a relationship. That is why they are more likely to fail and least likely to succeed. Both partners are filled with insecurity and distrust, they no longer have any room for their own privacy and the relationship takes a turn for the worst. Relationships need room for growth, that includes individual privacy and responsibilities. Both partners have their own life,interests,ambitions,and or goals. Marriage in turn does not provide this necessary space that is fundamental to the growth of the relationship. I would also have to agree that in turn of equality in the justice system, men are disenfranchised. There are a lot of barriers set up to protect woman where as there are none for man. This is where injustice occurs, in his situation he has nothing nor no one to defend himself and is automatically proven guilty. Where is the justice and equality in this? There is none, by setting up a system of protection for woman like this they are fundamentally denying and taking away the rights,privileges, and protections guaranteed by the constitution and amendments for men. I believe it’s time we put an end to all this foolishness, take down this system, and remake society into it’s former glory. A society is supposed to be fair and just to all it’s citizens, not just a particular race, gender, or social/economic class. We went wrong with feminism, and now today you see the result of that: division between genders, unemployment rates increasing, education increasing but quality decreasing, families collapsing, etc. When I hear that a dad is denied rights to visit his kids I am sickened to my stomach. No one has a right to deny a man from his children, he created them. Woman in our society have done some very cowardly, evil, and low things. But there is still a minority of woman I believe that want to correct the ways of the bad in order to benefit all of mankind. We are not just divided upon “Race/ethnic backgrounds” but also we are divided now because of “Gender”. The more we divide ourselves, the more clouded we become and the more reckless our actions toward each other are. The end result is self-destruction and destruction of each other. Instead of taking on the problems/issues at the very core we choose to live in illusion and blame it on each other as a coping mechanism. It is easier to blame someone else then it is to blame oneself. It is human nature to fear something we cannot understand, that being said I believe that the biggest threat to humanity is truly themselves. We do not understand each other therefore we find the only solution is conflict.
    We are scared of each other, the only rational solution is to get over that fear and co-operate together, to learn how to understand each other, and to help one another. War,murder,imprisonment,purge,genocide,nuclear weapons,chemical weapons are not the answers to our problems, they are the exact opposite. We must work side by side to restore order and peace to the world, otherwise we will destroy it and each other. Humanity’s hope is not in it’s god/creator but in it’s own hands,actions. We have the freedom,will,knowledge, and power to do so……. it is time we use what we have to restore the world to what it should be.

    This is why I joined Anonymous, I hope to make this dream reality, and with their help/resources it is far from just a dream, everyday we are growing closer to achieving this.

    United by one, Divided by zero, We are Anonymous, Expect Us!


  9. William wallace

    Hello all… I am 23 years young and I have come to the decision to NEVER marry. I was one in a relationship for 2 years I also lived with the girl. It started off sweet and innocent. It was a new love nothing I had ever felt before it’s strange when you love all the flaws in a person. Anyway it started with small things then before I knew it I was selling my Xbox then I was spending 200$ on groceries that would eventually go bad because I was also spending money on take out. Let’s not forget the irresponsible spending habits of my gf (mainly on pot) then came the jealousy. Im a young guy pretty good lookin if I do say so myself and I was working in healthcare mainly nursing homes where the women to men ratio is 10:1 so obviously I had a lot of female friends i had to cut off all of them no texting no hanging out nothing and some of them i had really good friendships with. Meanwhile she still is in contact with guys she used to screw mainly the weed guy and all that stuff.. So fast forward 1 year and 8 months we are fighting every other day. I have a back bone and my appetite doesn’t call for ass. I have no friends because they are scared of her. I only leave for work to avoid arguments. We had a really big fight because I didn’t come home till 8 PM ( yea I know) ive become an empty shell waking up miserable everyday drinking heavily just to be able to feel OK with dealing with my life situation. She has become disrespectful to the extreme sex has become boring and something I have to schedule. Not to mention her weed habit has posted her 3 jobs so I’m footing 2000$ in bills a month which to me at 23 is kind of a lot. One particular fight got physical because she spit in my face and she had me arrested on assault charges which costed me both my jobs. As you can imagine she DID NOT look out for me how I did her im fact she told me i wasnt a real man.I lost everything and she left. But not before selling the she stuff WE invested in together and not giving me a red cent. The funny thing about all this is we weren’t married we just lived together. So to all my fellow men DO NOT fall for LOVE. It is a trap a very hurtful and expensive trap. Women complicate things and are more trouble then they are worth. I am glad I learned this lesson early before I got very financially stable had I not my losses may have been greater.. DO NOT GET MARRIED!!!!!

  10. Mr. Baxter

    Marriage, with its requisite legally enforced snares is an affront against God and nature. It serves no one save the legal system. Little good can come from a bad marriage. If society continues to insist on promoting it, some type of legislative fail-safe needs to be included in the marriage license. For example, a third party review should be required every five years. If both parties are happy, great, yer good for another five years. On the other hand, if one or both parties are unsatisfied, they can opt out, not renew the license, and be excused from the agreement with no penalty. Of course, this is easier said than done when all things emotional are considered, but it is a reasonable solution to what is generally considered as a less than successful institution.

    1. joe

      Agree. But marriage involve sex behaviour and may lead pregnancy and make babies.
      I would say, unless the woman have pregnancy or baby, the marriage license should be review every 3-5 years.

  11. John

    Most women are she-devils who hypnotize poor dudes through some silent mind-meld into gladly surrendering their money, dreams, and sperm (for those kids she must have). And then the dumb shit buys her a little expensive finger trophy so she can show everyone she captured her prey. I got out of a bad marriage (yup, lost half my dough) and I’ve never felt more free or wise. Stay single, focus on your goals and dreams (you have them–you may have simply forgotten about them) and treat women as playthings. To quote Todd Rundgren, “they may be stupid but they sure are fun.” Have fun without going to self-imposed prison.

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  13. Insidious_Sid

    A man needs a wife like a bank needs a robber. Just don’t do it.

    We live in a society that prides itself in instant gratification and everything is disposable and instantly replaceable. Women dare speak of “happily ever after” – what this really means is she expect YOU to stick around and work on the relationship until SHE is done trying. Women were raised to think that relationships are about pissing bliss and “happily ever after”. Relationships take work, commitment, effort, patience and trust. Most women these days don’t have the patience or fortitude to maintain a long term relationship. Be very suspicious that every time a relationship fails it’s the MAN’s fault somehow. Hmmm… Women want marriage more than men, but instigate divorce 70% of the time, and half of marriages will end in divorce.

    I say go right to “friendly ex’s” with your own places. Be friends-with-benefits. Or just friends. Let her live in her place with her kids. Live in your place with your kids. Don’t play this “instant family” game. There is something called “Step parent child support” now so think twice before you think a second hand woman with a gaggle of children is a good idea. That’s right, play white knight for some woman and her kids, and she’ll get child support from bio dad AND you too. The laws and precedents are SO in favor of women at men’s expense now that only a complete fool would marry in North America.

    Look at how women treat men and talk about men in general. They don’t really like us, if you ask me. They’d prefer other women or cats.

    Don’t get married. She’ll drain the life, energy, and money out of you and suck out your soul.

  14. joe

    What is marriage ?
    Two stranger meet together, communicate for few years, and decide to make a legal contract that they’ll live and take care each together forever. Is this practice make sense on social science ? Yes, because marriage is decide for making babies and form a families, and a babies need to be take care for more than 20 years. So marriage is no more a for our next generation.

    We, as a human being, need to contribute the society in order to make our society survive. Reproduction is obviously a contribution (as we need people to reproduce for sustainability). However, when we work, we earn money, earn work experience on our cv, that’s the reward.

    But the trap is, marriage, making babies and take care of our babies are actually “contribute to the society by reproduction”. But we are just “spend money” on our marriage and babies, not “earn money”. Are we stupid ? When we decide to marriage, it means we are voluntary contribute the society by spending our huge amount of money and effort.

  15. Alicia Combs

    Wow.. this is extremely sexist don’t you think? Coming from a girl who doesn’t want to get married or have kids.. this is portraying all women to be useless, greedy sex buckets who just want to take advantage of a “man”. Marriage is just as much of a trap for a man than it is for a woman. It’s sad that two people can’t just be together because they love each other, or are best friends. Two people can love, accept, & co-exist with each other without taking advantage of the other, real sad people in this society are too unintelligent to see that.

  16. Chuck

    Marriage laws don’t favor men, whatsoever Alicia, and the majority of women, not all (you may be one of the few who are genuine and kind) take advantage of this. It’s societies fault as well. Western culture is poison and filled with greed, lust, sexual fornication and an eye for an eye mentality. Look at all the filth on T.V., the Internet (porn etc.), movies.

    If we lived in some remote rural area like Africa, New Zealand, heck even Montana or Utah, where Western Culture is few or nonexistent, then I could see marriage working, but this is 2018… society has already been poisoned to the point of no return. Marriage is a death trap for men.


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